Is Dying Justin Bieber's Only Move?

Bieber Fever is on the wane.

Lost in all the arrests, headlines, and celebrity beeves is the fact that Justin Bieber is no longer a relevant pop singer. His latest album, 2013's Journals peaked at #46 on the Billboard Album Chart, despite aggressive social media promotion.

Once upon a time, Bieber was the Next Justin Timberlake; a fresh-faced sweetheart of a young man with an earnest, lyric voice, and charm to match.

That's all gone. This altercation is just the latest episode in JB's devolution.

Justin Timberlake used his time as a teen idol to build connections and industry goodwill that would become the foundation of a long, successful career.

Justin Bieber can't stop pissing everyone off.

The good news is that there is a way for him to turn things around.

Unfortunately, that way is to die. Tragically.

Elvis is often cited as a singer for whom dying was his best career move. That isn't quite correct, though. By 1977, Elvis was fading, but still commercially relevant.

The better parallel is Amy Winehouse. In life, she was the Next Big Thing whose limited musical and thematic range rendered her a flash-in-the-pan. Then she died. Tragically.

Overnight, her legacy became that of a tortured artist not meant for the world.

Bieber can take the same route. Were he to OD tomorrow, his lukewarm chart performance will be spun as musical vision beyond what the public could handle. His misbehavior will be written off as the anguished writhing of a beautiful mind.

While Psychoeuphorology Today would never actually endorse such as waste of human life, Bieber's management team may want to consider what is really best for their client.