With the Holiday season in full swing, this power ranking of the top 10 Christmas movies will help you organize and prioritize screenings for you and your family.
There are two criteria which determine each film's rank. First is the overall quality of the film (as judged by me). Second is the film's current relevance (according to the same panel).
The first score doesn't change much from year to year. Hence, it's the second score that really stirs the rankings.
10. A Christmas Story (1983)
It's the Great American Epic for those who once considered Johnny Carson the Great American Humorist. It's a nostalgic portrait of what passed for family dysfunction in the 1950's midwest. The film cracks the list because its tameness makes for annual ubiquity on basic cable.
It loses points for contemporary relevance, due to the protagonist's outdated longing for a .22 rifle. Raised on a decade of special-ops headshooting games, today's kids want some serious firepower coming down the chimney.
9. The Polar Express (2004)
Whereas the book is an understated classic, the movie is a big budget CGI-driven spectacular starring Tom Hanks. Because of its continual refinement, CGI doesn't always age well, and even the best can end up looking cheap by their fifth birthday. Hence, it's difficult to gage this movie's actual timelessness. I should have a better idea in forty years.
The film's greatest strength is its run time of 100 minutes. In other words, it will occupy the kids for 85 minutes longer than the book, and all you have to do is press play and refresh your egg nog.
8. A Miracle on 34th Street (1947)
It's saccharine piece of garbage, but it makes the list by dominating the airwaves from Thanksgiving through New Year's Day.
Expect it to slide in future years. The film begins with the Thanksgiving Day Parade, a boring institution which gets cheesier ever year. Much of it is set at Macy's, which was classy and cool in 1947, but doesn't mean much to modern shoppers. Finally, Kris Kringle's trial hinges on the integrity and cultural authority of the federal government, which is downright quaint. The film's contemporary relevance should only continue to slide.
Yes Virginia, everything really was that lame in the olden days.
7. Elf (2003)
For the time being, Elf is in a holding pattern around the middle of the order. Though an instant classic on its release, it is now a stale, 10-year old movie, featuring a no-longer-box-office-gold star. In a few years, it will hit the nostalgia sweet spot (15-20 years after release), sooner if Anchorman 2 is a hit (or Will Ferrell dies of a heroin overdose). At that point, it will be anchored in the Top 5.
Context aside, the film's humor is solid, and it doesn't lean on its effects budget as much as The Polar Express. Using the Empire State Building and Central Park as key settings is smart, as those things will probably still be around in a few decades.
6. The Santa Claus (1994)
Here is a perfect example of the nostalgia curve in action. The Santa Claus dominated the holiday box office in 1994 thanks to its white-hot star, Tim Allen (in November '94, Home Improvement was the highest rated show in America, and Allen's book hit number one on the New York Times bestseller list). Fifteen years later, the movie was a Clinton-era artifact with two bad sequels.
This is year, it's begun to work its way into the basic cable rotation, as America comes to remember that Tim Allen is a solid comedic actor. The Santa Claus is only his third best film (behind Toy Story and Galaxy Quest), but at a sentimental time of year, it may be the one that leads re-sparks interest in his works.
5. Jingle All the Way (1996)
When it comes to prime Christmas nostalgia, what's better than one 1990's comedy icon?
Three! In this case Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, and Phil Hartman. Critics hated Jingle All the Way for Schwarzenegger's wooden acting (despite nearly two decades of box office receipts, they had yet to figure out that America counted this as a positive), and materialistic premise. Which is to say it's critically despised in the best way possible.
Furthermore, in an age when Black Friday is a semi-holiday in its own right, Arnold and Sinbad's struggle to secure the last Turbo-Man for their sons is as relatable as ever.
4. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (1964)
Stop-motion never goes out of style. This is what keeps RRNR in the top 5, despite its annoying theme song.
It's also the go-to film for those who spend their Christmas plagued by emotional demons. Just get a few chronically depressed friends together and go around the room picking out which Misfit Toy you're most like.
3. A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)
It explored the over-commercialization of Christmas before that became its own empty headed cliche. Nearly 50 years later, it remains the definitive work on the subject. It's sarcastic, witty, charming, sweet-hearted and even edgy. Directly quoting the Gospel to explain the meaning of Christmas was as bold a statement then as it would be today.
On top of that, it introduced the Peanuts universe's signature tune: Linus and Lucy.
2. Frozen (2013)
I've never seen this movie. I don't even know if its been released in theaters yet. I'm just pandering to the children. After all, they're the one who will staff my nursing home.
1. Lethal Weapon (1987)
It's not even close. Lethal Weapon is the greatest Christmas movie of all time.
Not only that, it's one of the greatest movies for any time of year.
It's the story of Roger Murdock (Danny Glover) an old-school, by-the-book LAPD detective paired with Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson), a loose cannon special-ops veteran. Together they hunt down those who would make Christmas unmerry for the people of Los Angeles. Early tensions threaten to overwhelm the partnership. However, in time they develop mutual respect, professionally and personally.
It all comes to a head in one of the greatest fight scenes ever, a Jailhouse Rock soaked Jiu-Jitsu match between Riggs (Mel Gibson) and Joshua (Gary Busey). Though Riggs wins the fight with a triangle choke, Joshua steals a gun off an arresting officer, and takes aim before being gunned down by Riggs and Murdock...
Together.
Once stuck with each other through an error of destiny, the two men not only put aside their differences, but created a bond so strong they knew to turn and shoot with one mind.
And coming together with your fellow man is what Christmas is all about.
Here is a perfect example of the nostalgia curve in action. The Santa Claus dominated the holiday box office in 1994 thanks to its white-hot star, Tim Allen (in November '94, Home Improvement was the highest rated show in America, and Allen's book hit number one on the New York Times bestseller list). Fifteen years later, the movie was a Clinton-era artifact with two bad sequels.
This is year, it's begun to work its way into the basic cable rotation, as America comes to remember that Tim Allen is a solid comedic actor. The Santa Claus is only his third best film (behind Toy Story and Galaxy Quest), but at a sentimental time of year, it may be the one that leads re-sparks interest in his works.
5. Jingle All the Way (1996)
When it comes to prime Christmas nostalgia, what's better than one 1990's comedy icon?
Three! In this case Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, and Phil Hartman. Critics hated Jingle All the Way for Schwarzenegger's wooden acting (despite nearly two decades of box office receipts, they had yet to figure out that America counted this as a positive), and materialistic premise. Which is to say it's critically despised in the best way possible.
Furthermore, in an age when Black Friday is a semi-holiday in its own right, Arnold and Sinbad's struggle to secure the last Turbo-Man for their sons is as relatable as ever.
4. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (1964)
Stop-motion never goes out of style. This is what keeps RRNR in the top 5, despite its annoying theme song.
It's also the go-to film for those who spend their Christmas plagued by emotional demons. Just get a few chronically depressed friends together and go around the room picking out which Misfit Toy you're most like.
3. A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)
It explored the over-commercialization of Christmas before that became its own empty headed cliche. Nearly 50 years later, it remains the definitive work on the subject. It's sarcastic, witty, charming, sweet-hearted and even edgy. Directly quoting the Gospel to explain the meaning of Christmas was as bold a statement then as it would be today.
On top of that, it introduced the Peanuts universe's signature tune: Linus and Lucy.
2. Frozen (2013)
I've never seen this movie. I don't even know if its been released in theaters yet. I'm just pandering to the children. After all, they're the one who will staff my nursing home.
1. Lethal Weapon (1987)
It's not even close. Lethal Weapon is the greatest Christmas movie of all time.
Not only that, it's one of the greatest movies for any time of year.
It's the story of Roger Murdock (Danny Glover) an old-school, by-the-book LAPD detective paired with Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson), a loose cannon special-ops veteran. Together they hunt down those who would make Christmas unmerry for the people of Los Angeles. Early tensions threaten to overwhelm the partnership. However, in time they develop mutual respect, professionally and personally.
It all comes to a head in one of the greatest fight scenes ever, a Jailhouse Rock soaked Jiu-Jitsu match between Riggs (Mel Gibson) and Joshua (Gary Busey). Though Riggs wins the fight with a triangle choke, Joshua steals a gun off an arresting officer, and takes aim before being gunned down by Riggs and Murdock...
Together.
Once stuck with each other through an error of destiny, the two men not only put aside their differences, but created a bond so strong they knew to turn and shoot with one mind.
And coming together with your fellow man is what Christmas is all about.
