My Idea for the $10 bill: Get Rid of People Altogether.

The United States Treasury has announced that the next redesign of the $10 bill will feature the portrait of a woman, while relegating Alexander Hamilton to a lesser position. The female to be pictured is still undetermined but will be announced later this year.

I'm not a fan of the move. For better or worse, Alexander Hamilton is one of the the most important financial figures in US history and on these grounds alone deserves prominence on American currency.

Fortunately, there's a better way. Taking inspiration from America's most iconic coinage, it's time we scrap individual portraits altogether. Just reacquaint yourself with pieces like the buffalo nickel, or the St. Gaudens Double Eagle and tell me the world's premier currency should serve as a flavor-of-the-month personal tribute (Yes, I know those coins have 'people' on them, but they are not anyone in particular. The Indian head is a composite sketch, while the Double Eagle features a 'Lady Liberty').

Consider James Earle Fraser's concept for the buffalo nickel,

Well, when I was asked to do a nickel, I felt I wanted to do something totally American—a coin that could not be mistaken for any other country's coin. It occurred to me that the buffalo, as part of our western background, was 100% American, and that our North American Indian fitted into the picture perfectly

As we rethink the $10 note, it's worth keeping this attitude. For example:

This image of the Montana Rockies is understated, elegant, and leaves room in the sky and foreground for necessary lettering. With this image, Treasury Secretary Jack Lew should use the crosshatched shadows of the foothills to hide his signature. That's the sort of discreet touch that makes for a classic bill. 

While we're tapping into our natural heritage...

The wild turkey has never been used on currency, and it's a shame. As a herd animal that relies on its pack as well as its own vigilance for protection, the turkey is an excellent symbol of national solidarity. It's positive symbolism and majestic bearing make it worthy of US legal tender. 

Either of these designs are purely American. They cannot be mistaken for any other countries currency. They are timeless, and subvert the controversies that come with any great person. 

But if gender balance is your biggest consideration for currency design, there's a solution. Move to Canada.

Behind the Scenes of the World's Largest Snickers Bar

Last week I cemented my place as a Great American when turned a 10 lb. box of generic 'Snickers' crumbles into an Eighth Wonder of the World. Here is how it went down.

First, I poured out the crumbles onto parchment paper. Then, I hand-formed them into compressed bars.

Each finished Snickers has two bars of compressed crumbles bound by caramel studded with crushed peanuts. When assembled, it looks like this:

The chocolate is tempered and ready to go.

Before the bars are ready for coating, they must undergo a final hand-shaping to ensure consistent dimensions. Chocolate doesn't lie. As it cascades over the bar, it highlights any defect in worksmanship.

First, I coat the bottom by spreading a layer of chocolate on the parchment, and letting the bar set in it. Once dry, it looks like this.

Now chocolate is poured over the bars until they are completely covered. The first attempt is never perfect. The tops of these are a little messy, but after a few repetitions, I will find the right pattern.

There you have it. Until next time, keep dreaming big!

Uplifting the Underpriviledged Children Through Tech Jargon

Every now and again I have a great idea. Most are too elegant to work, but this time, I've figured out how to give underprivileged children a leg up in society.

Education is key to a child's future. The problem is what to teach them. Rather than focus on useful skills, I think intangible qualities are most important.

Today's kids need irrational confidence and a bloated lexicon to match. With these, they will be able to craft the veneer of insight needed to make it as...

CONSULTANTS!!!

Consider this:

According to the Bureau of Labor, the median wage of a computer programmer is $76,140 per year. That's a good living until you stack it up against the $97,199 (per www.glassdoor.com) that the average technology consultant makes.

Now is the time to eliminate pointless educational initiatives; especially when so many inner-city high schoolers are still recontextualizing business-facing multi-platform datavation synergetics at a Web 1.0 level.

Rather than learn English, they should learn to speak in six-syllable words.

Rather than learn to count they should learn how to get their suits tailored.

Rather than teach them valuable lessons to nowhere, they need to learn how to bluster through two hour conference presentation without saying anything.

Furthermore, consider the impact on the marketplace. By flooding the world with surplus consultants, we may actually bring their price down.

But probably not. So much for elegance.