Finally, A Workable Definition of Hipster

Hipster (n): A person who does not understand what the word irony actually means.

This is a broad stroke definition which does not delve into the many nuances of hipsterdom, but provides a baseline commonality.

Hipsters frequently use the words 'irony' or 'ironic' to describe their culture or lifestyle.

For the record: irony (n): 1) the expression of one's meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite; typically for humorous or emphatic effect. 2) a state of affairs or event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result.

Hipsters tend to have weak or malformed senses of humor, so the first definition rarely applies. As for the second, at this point, hipster eccentricities have calcified into a rigid orthodoxy of their own. Hence, their is no contrary or unexpected element to who they are or what they do.

In summary, wearing thick glasses is not ironic; it's just a fashion choice.