It's Been a Week, and No, I Haven't Finished Orange is the New Black

 
Although it was released a week ago, I'm only on the fourth episode of Orange is the New Black. I know I wrote about my excitement for this season last time, but... something happened.

As I was looking down the episode list, I realized that each one ranges from 50 minutes to an hour in length.

And really, who has the time?

This thought reminded me of a 2009 interview with Bitter Old Coot (and occasional novelist) Philip Roth. When asked about his prediction that novels would no longer be read in 25 years, he answered:

I was being optimistic about 25 years really. No, I think it’s going to be cultic. I think always people will be reading them, but it’ll be a small group of people — maybe more people than now read Latin poetry, but somewhere in that range… It’s the print. That’s the problem. It’s the book. It’s the object itself. To read a novel requires a certain kind of concentration, focus, devotion to the reading. If you read a novel in more than two weeks, you don’t read the novel really. So I think that that kind of concentration, and focus, and attentiveness, is hard to come by. It’s hard to find huge numbers of people, or large numbers of people or significant numbers of people who have those qualities.

This is how I'm coming to feel about long-form television. Though I don't have to watch a whole episode in one sitting, Roth is right that breaking focus takes something away from the experience.

A 50 minute episode of OTNB may be only 6 minutes longer than an episode of, say CSI (minus commercials), but that difference is big in a show which requires undivided attention. I can nod off to Royal Pains and not miss a beat, but if I miss a line or two of a Piper monologue, I need to rewind.

Have shows like OTNB doomed themselves to cultic irrelevance? Maybe, but I choose to look at the possibilities the Internet offers. Streaming television undermines the relevance of time formats. Though cheap acting, and no broadcast schedule may invite longer episodes; I think it's a matter of time before some visionary rediscovers the power of concision. My prediction: Netflix's next big hit will run 30 minute or less episodes.

The Internet can be a powerful creative tool if you let it. My current non-fiction project, The Concise Companion to Tax Lien Investing, figures to be around 10,000 words when finished. In the past, this would have been unpublishable. It's way too short for a book. That doesn't matter anymore. With online self-publishing, I can make it as long or short as it needs to be. The shape of media in the 21st Century remains undefined, but this sort of freedom is its greatest virtue. 

'Orange is the New Black' Season 2: Pre-Thoughts

Last July, I wrote that Orange is the New Black has two good seasons in it, and that any more would push the premise beyond its limits. I still feel that way, and we'll see if I'm right on Friday, when Season 2 is released on Netflix.

The show's bold characters are both its strength and weakness. Unlike other recent classics like Breaking Bad or Mad Men in which subtle characters arcs blend and develop over time, ONB places combustible elements under pressure. If the show doesn't explode soon, the whole thing may fizzle.

This is similar to the problem of creator Jenji Kohan's previous show Weeds, which featured eccentric, aggressive characters in extreme situations. Though those characters made strong impacts, they ran out quickly, even as the show plodded on five seasons too long.

Breaking Bad nailed the graceful exit; ending its run at the height of its popularity with a satisfying mix of closure and ambiguity. Hopefully ONB can come close. Working in its favor is Piper's short prison sentence. Her release is a natural endpoint, after which there is no reason to carry on.

Even though I've spent this post burying the show before its dead, I really am looking forward to it. I'll watch it all this weekend, and I'll see you on the other side.

A Six-Pack of Thoughts on Orange is the New Black

Apocalyptic Scenario: In the future, as traditional media apparati continue to be undermined by the abundance of free cat videos, amateur pornography, and crackpot social philosophy, professional writers, performers, and thinkers will be need a new way to be seen and heard. Like late-Romans fleeing to the protection of large landowners as a last resort against the violence and chaos of imperial decline, so will our great men and women of culture lean on the stability of beer sponsors to provide what production companies and publishers cannot.

In this new feudal context, the six-pack will become the base unit of intellectual life. At Psychoeuphorology Today, we're not waiting around. To kick things off, here is a six-pack of thoughts on another new media bellwether, Netflix's original series Oragne is the New Black.

1. This show is a nice bounce back from Jenji Kohan.

Weeds was a strong show in its first few seasons, but declined after the burning of Agrestic. The erratic and ridiculous plot lines had a lot to do with this, but the creative vision of Jenji Kohan played it's part. The characters she created were too static to transcend the show's initial premise. Though initially compelling, the lack of character development and formulaic plot arcs gave the show a Scooby Doo like feel, but without the jangle-pop chase songs.

Orange is the New Black avoids this problem, in that it is limited by our heroine's prison term. The plot arc is preset by the true story on which it's based. I expect this show to run for a tidy, well-received two seasons that will leave its audience satisfied, and not wanting more.

2. The Netflix production model really works

Given the size and scope of their operations, TV networks are forced to manage the risks of original progamming in the traditional ways, namely, overpaying stars, rehashing successful show formats, and casting a wide audience net. These production techniques make for an expensive and unreliable insurance policy, as shows meant to appeal to everyone often end up pleasing no one.

Netflix's is a subscription service which allows users to pick their content. Because of this, it can defer risk using the opposite approach of lowering costs and green-lighting projects with more defined appeal. The biggest stars in ONB are that chick from That 70's Show (not Mila Kunis, the other one), and Jason Biggs. Good writing is cheap, good acting is expensive. Netflix may have shelled out for Kevin Spacey in House of Cards, but expect them to make low-budget projects the backbone of their production efforts.

3. Speaking of J-Biggs...

Biggs bring his mastery of the mindset and mannerisms of the Upper-Middle class Jewish male to a dramatic context, as the protagonist's faithful but conflicted finacee.

Though leaning on his usual bag of character acting tricks, Biggs brings maturity and perspective to his role. Like a fine wine, the kid from American Pie becomes more nuanced with age, while retaining his basic nature. On the whole this is his best work since Saving Silverman.

4. For a Based-on-a-True-Story Prison Show, This One Was Kinda Fun

The most compelling aspect of the show is the mix of prison grit with lighthearted elements. The prison is based on the Federal Correctional Institution in Danbury, CT; which is the low-security Federal prison where the real Piper Kerman served her time.

The violence in ONB is a far cry from the naked brutality of a show like Oz. The diversity of the inmate population at times gives the show an odd-couple flavor as the hardcore lesbians, softer-core lesbians, Hispanic moms, kitchen workers, Christian fundamentalists, etc. work through there uneasy coexistence.

Though there is violence, there are also charming moments, such as when a guard attempts to portray our sweet-hearted, lotion-making heroine as a stone-cold rapist to a group of Scared Straight teens. Prison shows are typically grim. This one is more of a black-comedy.

5. You've Got Tiiiiiiiiimmmmeeeee!

Each episode is kicked off by, "You've Got Time," which was written and recorded by Regina Spektor to serve as the show's title theme. Title scenes are an under-appreciated part of TV Magic, but when done right, they add context and counterpoint to the show. The best recent example is the pulsing, animated devolution which opens up Mad Men.

"You've Got Time" emphasizes the primal frustration that underpins the monotony of minimum-security prison life. It takes on new meaning as each episode bleeds into the next over a marathon viewing.

Going back to point #2, I think we'll see more theme songs from high-profile musicians. Commissioning a few quality verses is cheap compared to hiring Charlie Sheen, and it improves the show's quality while bringing in that artist's fan base.

6. I Think It's Obvious What Comes Next...

You may remember that in the 1970's, it was common practice to produce one-off specials in which different shows (usually animated) 'meet' each other. The most famous was The Flintstones Meet the Jetsons.

In ONB, the kitchen is a center of inmate life. It performs a vital function as it's staff work with substandard tools and ingredients to feed a crowd. In the process, pride is wounded, power is brokered, and the peace hangs on a thread. In other words, it's perfect for...

Season 2 Episode 1: Orange is the New Black Meets Top Chef

The Top Chefs are faced with their toughest challenge yet, as they are taken to a real prison cafeteria where they must use the equipment and ingredients provided to create a gourmet meal for hundreds of inmates. Things get bloody when some of the mouthier contestants mix it up with some of the mouthier inmates. The episode takes a delicious turn when Padma and Piper are caught naked in the shower enjoying a whole different kind of lunch.

I'll pick up my Emmy whenever it's convenient.