OK, Fine, You Twisted My Arm... Let's Talk About March Madness

The purpose of this space is for me to write about whatever is on my mind. I think about a lot of stuff, and reflect that in my choice of topics.

However, this blog is powered by Blogger, which means that Google spies on you, my readers, and tells me what you really think.

According to traffic patterns, you like posts about sports and TV. Who am I to ignore what really matters to you?

With the Sweet 16 approaching, here is...

A Six-Pack of Thoughts on the NCAA Basketball Tournament So Far (By the way, I'm still looking for a beer sponsor.)

1. Is it clear that Jim Boeheim is a second-rate basketball coach?

He has reached 900 wins beating up on the small liberal arts schools and Directional-States of the Northeast, while rarely hanging with quality opposition.

Yes, every big program pads is schedule, and yes, he has won 5 Big East Tournaments and a National Championship in 2003.

However, this year's loss to 11th seeded Dayton is yet another in a history of ugly tournament defeats for the perennially "loaded" Orange.

Even more damning is the record of his players in the NBA. Carmelo Anthony stands as the only unequivocal success to emerge from a Boeheim coached team. In the last few years alone, players like Jonny Flynn, Wesley Johnson, and Fab Melo have reinforced the preconception of Syracuse as a school which takes in talented players and leaves them unprepared for the big time.

Even promising young professionals like Dion Waiters and Michael Carter-Williams are marked by the bad defensive habits they learned in upstate New York.

Boeheim's 2-3 zone may spare his players from working hard on defense, but good teams rip it apart. It's a lazy strategy that gives players a bad foundation to build on. There's a reason no one else uses it.

Boeheim is a good recruiter, and upsets happen, but in his tenure, he has more tournament loses to double digit seeds (6), than Syracuse has Final Four appearances (5) in its entire history.


2. God Bless Mercer.

I have no idea where Mercer is. I not sure if it's an accredited school. I'm not going to look either of those things up, because I've gotten this far in life being ignorant of Mercer, and I'm not changing now.

However, they beat Duke, which for some reason is a National Priority every year. In general, success breeds resentment, but America's feelings for the Blue Devils make the Yankees or Lakers seem likeable.

If you subscribe to the theory that sports are a subconscious surrogate for war, then Mercer's upset over Duke is equivalent to re-assassinating Osama bin Laden. We are that united in our desire to see Coach K's squad go down.

I'm not sure why we hate Duke so much, especially while John Calipari is still active. Nonetheless, God Bless Mercer.


3. While we're on the subject of Basketball Hate; I hate these teams:

Florida: The University of Florida is a third-rate diploma mill with nothing to stand on besides it's basketball and football teams. I wouldn't make snap judgements about a graduate of large public school like Michigan State or Indiana. If someone confessed to being a Florida Gator, I would question their intelligence and credentials.   

Arizona: Like Florida, but more so.

Lousville: I hate Rick Pitino more than the school. Everything about his bearing and personality reminds me of a sleazy used car salesmen (or, as they're known in college basketball: Top Recruiters). Furthermore, he is not forgiven for his embarrassing stint as Head Coach of my Boston Celtics.


4. These are the teams I'm pulling for.

Harvard: The Crimson were eliminated in the Round of 32 by Michigan State, but seeing an academically rigorous school make some tournament noise is always nice (unless it's Duke).

Stanford: Also an academically rigorous school, though one with a deeper commitment to athletics than Harvard. Yesterday they knocked off the second seeded Kansas Jayhawks, while holding Andrew Wiggins to four points.

Hopefully, this is the game NBA executives remember when they're over-drafting Doug McDermott and Julius Randle, thus letting Wiggins slide to my Boston Celtics around picks 5-7.

While I'm daring to dream, perhaps the NBA will give Joel Embiid the Jared Sullinger treatment with regards to his back problems; letting him fall to our late first round pick via Brooklyn. Be still, my beating heart.

Connecticut: In case the Jim Boeheim critique didn't tip you off, the Huskies are my team. MUSH, HUSKIES, MUSH!!!!

Those who think Connecticut is just Shabazz Napier and friends and have another thing coming, namely this.


5. Here is my obligatory shot at the NCAA.

The NCAA is a corrupt and borderline criminal organization. It's only regulatory principle is 'out of sight, out of mind.' It operates in naked defiance of the 13th Amendment.

That said, the problems of minor-league basketball are minor indeed. Let the games continue.


6. The players who wear t-shirts under their jerseys need to stop.

I don't know why they do it, but I assume it's because they are afraid to show their underdeveloped musculature to a national audience.

Whatever the reason, it looks lame. Puny or not, those pythons need to breathe.  

Worse still, they're making fashion victims out of the pros.

This year the NBA and Adidas have rolled out horrendous sleeved jerseys that take inspiration from the t-shirt look.

They even make LeBron James looks like a rec-leaguer.